One of my favorite things about writing is description. My philosophy about description is that what a character describes, and how they describe it, can tell you a lot about them. If a character is constantly thinking about how far away she is from other characters she might be anxious or unsure of her standing with them. If a character walks into a room and immediately notices the crumbs on the counter, they might be a neat freak or just looking for something to hate about the person who owns that counter. If a character notices people’s clothing, he’s probably a little knowledgeable about the subject and he probably cares about appearances. Often when I write a description of a room, I’ll discover something about the characters in it that changes the way I think about them or their relationships with other characters. what a character describes, and how they describe it, can tell you a lot about them.
What a character describes, and how they describe it, can tell you a lot about them.
This extends to how they’re feeling in the moment and how they’re thinking about the conflict that may or may not be at hand. In a stressful situation where you only have moments to to think, you are not likely to think about anything but how to get yourself out. So it makes sense that if you’re describing your character in that moment, they’re only going to describe what is absolutely necessary to get them through. And this goes for third person narrator’s as well. Even if they aren’t close to the characters, an invested narrator is an invested reader. By focusing in only what is necessary you’re emulating what it’s like to be in that situation for your reader.
This is fine and dandy when you’re in a situation where you’ve already established the characters and setting, but what about when a character appears out of nowhere and takes the MC by surprise? Well you have to describe what they look like right? Otherwise how will your reader know what to picture?
The rule I’ve come up with is only describe what would stand out to the character in that moment. In an action scene a character won’t usually notice eye color or hair unless it’s really unusual. For instance if their hair is bright white or they have something that marks them as a bad guy the characters would recognize. And you should be sparing with the details, especially if the characters are physically fighting. The focus of a conflict should remain on the action and the pace should feel quick. So think about what is necessary for the readers to know about the characters and be cut throat. What exactly makes them a threat to your MC? What exactly is this conflict about? What are potential weak points for your MC to exploit?
Only describe what would stand out to the character in that moment.
Also keep in mind that there are things your characters are liable to notice naturally during an action scene that you can take advantage of to fill out the scene. For instance if the character is much stronger than your MC and they’re dueling it out with swords, that’s a great opportunity to integrate your description into the action. Or for a non-combat example, if a character has a beneficial relationship with another character the MC didn’t know about—for instance the Queen’s new lover—then there’s an opportunity to show that in the scene with a shared romantic glance or a stray pet name or wearing a scarf that belongs to the Queen. Be creative with integrating description into your action and look for opportunities that appear.
In the end, if you're having difficulty writing an important action scene, you can always go back to it. You don't have to get everything right the first time.
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